Greek Irish Catholic Orthodox

Today is St. Patrick's Day, and I have some feelings about it. Some of my ancestors, and fully half of John's, suffered persecution from the British in part for their Catholic faith. I feel like I have let those ancestors down by not being Catholic anymore.

But there was a way to honor our Irish heritage and keep the Orthodox fast. No corned beef or fish 'n' chips or Guinness beef stew, but I made bubble & squeak and slightly-inauthentic Irish soda bread. Everyone gobbled it up, myself included.

Falafel recipe

A reader asked for a falafel recipe and I went trawling for links, but I couldn't find one that was exactly what I do.  Mine is not authentic, but I have tried the authentic kind and failed miserably.  My food processor can't handle uncooked chickpeas, and without flour the balls fell apart.  So here is what I actually do do, which is easy and always turns out well (if I actually follow it).  You can tinker with the spices as much as you want to make them taste how you want, but don't leave out the flour.

See this shapeless mass? This is what happens if you leave out the flour.

Foolproof falafel

3 cans chickpeas
handful of fresh parsley or cilantro if you have them -- 1 T dried parsley will do if you don't
1 tsp cumin
garlic and onion, fresh or dried
1 tsp salt
sprinkle of cayenne
1/2 cup flour
1 tsp baking soda


Drain the chickpeas and grind them up in a food processor or blender.  You're not looking for smooth here.  Reasonably fine with a few chunks is good.  Process the herbs also, and then stir in all the other things.

At this point, try making it into a ball.  Does it actually hold together well and keep its shape?  If not, add more flour.  Less flour is for classier chefs.  You and I want something that'll hold together in the oil, so don't be stingy.

Heat a deep pan of oil to 350 degrees.  I use shortening because it can handle the heat and is not expensive.  Peanut is great if you have it.  Don't even attempt this with butter or olive oil or anything delicate.

When the oil is fully 350 degrees, shape the dough into balls or patties -- golf ball size or a little smaller.  Deep fry them for a few minutes, till they're brown and crispy on the outside.  Don't undercook them or you lose the entire point.  Drain them on paper towels.

The best way to serve these is in a pita with some yogurt sauce and cucumbers.  But you can also do vegan mayo or baba ganouj or whatever you want.  Or throw them on a salad.  It's all good.

First semi-vegan shop

Today is the first day of the Orthodox fast, and I went shopping.  For the most part I bought my usual things, because I'm not sure yet how the kids will like the vegan stuff and because I'm probably going to keep breakfast, lunch, and snack for the kids exactly as before.  But I didn't buy any chicken, only one package of beef and a pound of sausage for dinner meat.  I spent the extra money on more vegetables, so I came out about even.  I am pretty sure if I went more hardcore on the vegan thing I would save money, but this time I spent $200, which is my usual budget.  That's for two weeks, for a family of six.  *polishes nails*

Here's the entire haul.  I got two gallons of milk instead of three, three pounds of cheese instead of four, and only two pounds of butter.  Also two dozen eggs, one pint of sour cream, one quart of yogurt, a box of fish sticks, three pounds of baloney, and two packages of turkey.  That kind of sounds like a lot of animal foods, doesn't it?  I'm just really nervous about not having things on hand that people will eat.

On the flip side, I got fresh broccoli in addition to the usual frozen, both cabbage and celery (usually I pick one or the other), three avocados, an eggplant,  lots of carrots, bell peppers, cucumbers, lettuce, bagged salad, tomatoes, apples, mandarin oranges, and grapes.  Also restocked all my frozen vegetables and got lots of canned tomatoes, tomato sauce, chickpeas, and beans.  A big bag of dry black beans was 2.49, much cheaper than canned and I've already cooked them up.

One of my extra purchases was soy milk.  I've bought almond milk before, but found it disappointingly watery, and it has only 60 calories per cup.  One of the main reasons I add milk to things is to pump up the calories, so I was happy to see soy milk has 100, and a similar macronutrient balance to milk.  We'll see how the kids like it, or whether they notice if I use it in cream soups and sauces.

I also got sunflower seeds, because I love them on salad.  Meant to get some other nuts too but forgot.  I got the one variety of canned soup Aldi sells that is vegan -- minestrone, at 1.35 a can.  For a snack for John I got potato chips.

Beyond that, I got all my usual things: 7 loaves of bread, 3 packages of tortillas, refried beans, crackers, animal crackers, pretzels, cereal, raisins, noodles, popsicles, and ice cream.

So, what's on the menu?

Breakfasts: I always have bran cereal with raisins and milk.  It messes up my entire day to have anything else.
Marko likes a baloney sandwich with Frank's Red Hot sauce on it.
Michael likes cereal and milk or else oatmeal (which I forgot to buy, oh dear).
Miriam and Jackie vary.  Sandwiches or toast are popular.  Too often, I can't get Jackie to eat any breakfast at all.
John usually does not eat breakfast.

Lunches: Marko has a PBJ, pretzels and/or carrot sticks, and an orange.
Michael has a turkey wrap,  pretzels and/or carrot sticks, and an orange.
Miriam, Jackie, and I vary among bean burritos, sandwiches, eggs, grilled cheese, or sometimes ramen noodles.
John usually has leftovers.  During Lent, if there aren't vegan leftovers, he'll be having canned soup, PBJ, or salad.

Snacks

I make one snack each day for everyone.  Favorites include muffins, scones, or rolls, all of which can be made vegan with soy milk and flaxseed in place of eggs.  Or sometimes I make hummus or black bean dip and give them carrots, celery, cucumber slices, and crackers.  If I'm phoning it in, they make themselves sandwiches and grab apples.

Dinners

Monday (today): black bean tacos, with corn and bell pepper relish.  Everybody loved them.  Michael complained at first that they didn't have meat like usual, but then declared them "surprisingly good."  Miriam was happy to hear we were not eating any animals.  She believes eating animals is bad, but on the other hand "they are so delicious!"

Tuesday: Fish sticks, roast potatoes, and salad.  John can have the potatoes and salad, and make himself something in addition if he is still hungry.

Wednesday: Hummus sandwiches or wraps.  If I've got my stuff together, I'll make pitas.  Cucumbers and tomatoes will go well in there.

Thursday: Mac 'n' cheese.  I forgot until then that the Orthodox ease into Lent, and cheese is okay the first week.  Didn't want to miss the chance.

Friday: John was working late and missed dinner.  I made beef kofta. 

Saturday: Pizza.  The kids' version will have pepperoni and cheese and John's will have peppers and onions.

Sunday:   Probably pasta.  I'm torn because I want to put in mushrooms and eggplant, but Marko hates mushrooms intensely.  If they're large enough to pick out, he'll pick them out, and if they're tiny enough he might not notice them at all.  But if he does notice them, and they're too small to pick out, that's when I'm in trouble.

Monday: bean enchiladas.

Tuesday: Broccoli, rice, and white beans in teriyaki sauce

Wednesday: falafel in wraps or pitas.  Vegan mayo is the only dressing I can think of to put on it, plus lots of cucumbers of course.  (Link is to Serious Eats, which I love.  JKLA's philosophy on vegan eating matches mine exactly: no fake meat, bring on the umami and variety.)

Thursday: lentil pot pie

Friday: Corn chowder.  We haven't had that in awhile.  I think by adding some  hickory seasoning I should keep anybody from missing bacon.  Though honestly I never made it with bacon in the first place, because I never have it on hand.  The only thing I'll miss is sour cream.  But I have found potato chowders get quite a lift from a little smidge of apple cider vinegar.  You just need something sour to cut the heaviness.

Saturday: another meat meal.  I'm thinking meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and veg.  That way John can eat the potatoes and veg.

Sunday:  cabbage chili, without the meat.


Hopefully it will go well and people will eat the food!  It's taken me five days to write this post, hence the shifting tenses.  So far I've noticed that, while I planned to make meat meals twice a week, I don't want to make meat that often.  If I have a vegan recipe ready to go I'd really just as soon make that, because defrosting meat and dealing with it is an extra step.

Keep the recipe suggestions coming!

New kitty!

Guess what guess what guess what, you guys!

I got a kitty!

Our basement kitty (officially named Pandora but always called Kitty-kitty) is still in the basement.  Every night she ventures out once the kids and dog are in bed for some snuggles with me, but the slightest noise and she whisks back down there to haunt the top shelves and stare down balefully.  It's safe to say she is a one-person cat.

But I've felt for years that what we really need is a cat that's for the kids.  Especially since we stopped keeping chickens.  So I've been keeping an eye out for the right cat.

The animal shelter sends a few cats to the pet store, to be on display there and maybe win over families, and that's where I spotted Clara.  She was a very pretty calico and I really, really wanted her.  But it took some time to get things together to adopt her, and by the time I got my application in at the humane society, somebody else had already asked for her.

It was sad, but I had come for a cat, so I asked to see all the others.  YOU GUYS.  There are some amazing cats down there.  They are a no-kill shelter so they have a whole lot of cats.  Some I was warned off of, as being stressed or hostile to kids or dogs or other cats.  But there were lots of friendly, mellow cats too.  The worker let them out one at a time for me to snuggle and the girls (who were with me) to interact with.

The cat that won me over had zero interest in the toys, but was enthusiastic about pets, even clumsy pets from Jackie.  She let me pick her up without a break in her purring.  I knew she was the cat chill enough for our family.  So I brought her home!

She's so chill and relaxed with the kids.  Just picks a place near them to lie around, and when they pet her, she purrs like a jet engine.

She's not meant to be "my" cat, but she's friendly with me also and loves to be picked up and snuggled.

I meant to name her something Greek and obscure, because that's a thing I do.  But I couldn't find anything related to the sun or fire that was feminine and didn't sound terrible.  And she was reminding me of somebody from a long, long time ago....

You see, when I was four years old, all I wanted was a stuffed cat.  I had seen this orange one at the laundromat, and just longed for her without any hope of actually getting her.  We were having a really rough time that Christmas.  I think that's when my dad was unemployed.  My mom warned me I wasn't likely to get very much for Christmas.

But, of course, on Christmas morning, there she was!  An orange stripey stuffed cat, the exact right size and shape for hugging.  I named her Tiger and slept with her every night till I left for boarding school.  And . . . after I got back.  And for some of the time in college.  She was just very comfortable to hold, okay? 

Anyway she was my best friend and I brought her everywhere.  I put sun lotion on her fur and it went all scruffy, and her whiskers all fell out at some point.  She was like the Velveteen Rabbit, the fur half loved off.

 Our new cat looks just like her.  So we named her Tiger.  It seems to suit her.

Orthodox Lent

I'm not the world's most supportive wife when it comes to John becoming Orthodox.  I don't go to church with him most Sundays, and when I do, I don't enjoy it.  I'm not sure if it's too Catholic or not Catholic enough.  Half the time I wish that, if he were inclined to woo, he could stick to the woo we're used to.  The other half, I wish that if he wanted a religion, he could have picked one that isn't homophobic and patriarchal.  It's like the worst of all possible worlds: ritual that's alien instead of comforting, and doctrines that are virtually the same as the Catholic ones.  But that was what John was looking for, I guess, and I'm glad he's happy.

The one thing I don't mind backing him up on, though, is the fasting.  The Orthodox fast the entirety of Lent, and by that they mean no meat, no fish, no dairy, no eggs, and no olive oil.  Invertebrates are okay.  I'm not ready to make vegan meals every dinner--I just don't know enough things to make that we like--but I've agreed to try for three days a week, and he can make the rest of his food himself. 

I'm excited because I desperately need to mix up our dinner menu.  We have had everything I usually make a million times.  Taking out meat gives me space to do more with the other ingredients.

So, what to make?  So far my vegan repertoire includes:
pasta with marinara sauce and spinach
falafel in a pita with cucumbers and vegan mayo
hummus wraps/sandwiches
black bean tacos with corn/bell pepper relish
bean enchiladas
minestrone soup
black bean/bell pepper soup
tomato soup with focaccia on the side
split pea soup
breakfast for dinner (vegan pancakes, homefries, baked apples)
lentil curry with coconut milk (the kids did not love this one)
tofu stirfry (nobody liked this option)

I'm a bit limited by not wanting to do much frying.  Fried eggplant, for instance, is delicious but John is watching his cholesterol and eggplant soaks up fat like a sponge.   Another limitation is that I mostly shop at Aldi and do not want to make a separate trip to the regular store for tofu, lentils, or other "odd" items.  Luckily margarine and soy/almond/coconut milk are all available there.

I can come up with endless soups but I would like more things that aren't soup.  I tried white bean "faux-fredo" sauce once and it was an utter fail . . . the noodles soaked up any liquid in the sauce, so it was just a starchy paste clinging to the noodles.  Maybe ratatouille or vegan lasagna would be good?  John also thinks there's got to be a way to make spanikopita vegan.  Honestly I would put just about any veggie into a pie.

I have no trouble getting by without meat, really.  But cheese.  Everything on this whole list would be better with at least one dairy product added.

Anyway, what are your favorite family-friendly vegan recipes?

Is laziness a thing?

I've been reading some things lately saying there's no such thing as laziness.  I mean, definitely people can be unproductive and not accomplish a lot.  But the word "lazy" suggests a voluntary, moral quality, whereas many people who aren't getting things done are actually doing the best they can.

They may have very low energy due to health problems.
They have have executive dysfunction.
They may be depressed.
They may simply have different priorities than other people think they should have.

It would be wrong to call these people "lazy," because their problem can't be solved by being shamed for not getting more done.  And it can be very comforting to look around at the stuff you've done and realize that maybe it actually was your best on that particular day.  I've had a lot of days like that, when I felt terrible about not knocking out my to-do list, only to realize that the reason I didn't accomplish more was because I had a crying baby hanging on me and was operating on five hours' sleep.  That's not laziness.  That's inability.

That said, there is one thing which I think is properly called laziness.  That's when people don't put forth effort when it benefits other people, only when it benefits themselves.  You know the type: holds down a job just fine but leaves boxer shorts all over a shared apartment, trusting that the roommates will put up with the mess.  Or a person who lives in their parents' basement rentfree and won't get a job, but they accomplish all of their own goals just fine.

Now it's okay to prioritize yourself in addition to others.  For instance, I sometimes use my limited time and energy writing books instead of cleaning, because writing the books is important to me, and the rest of the family doesn't mind my spending time on them.  If they didn't support it, I probably wouldn't, because I don't want to let people live in a trashed house so I could pursue a dream they don't believe in.  As it is, I think everyone in the family is okay with the balance I'm setting, so I don't feel selfish about it.

Next time you feel like you're being lazy, ask yourself why.  Are you unable to do even the things you truly want to do?  That's not laziness.  Do you just not want to do them because your neglect won't affect you?  Then maybe you should work on seeing things from other people's point of view.

7 quick takes

1

As is customary around here, the first take has to be the Excuse for Not Blogging.  I have to confess . . . I've been cheating on y'all.  I've been trying to build up an author blog that is . . . maybe a little less embarrassing than this one.  On the one hand, I bare my soul a lot here.  On the other, some of the old posts are things that I totally don't believe anymore.  So I made a new blog, with the idea I'd put the writing-relating stuff there and everything else here.

Trouble is, I'm not sure I'm capable of actually blogging reliably on one blog, let alone two.  Well, I'll make an effort.  Anyway the other blog is here and if you want to follow it . . . go for it.  Just don't spill the beans about this one over there, or I'm going to be so red in the face.

2

I feel like I should have had an opinion on some of the stuff that's been swirling around.  Like the March for Life/Covington kids thing.  I have been working on a policy of not having an opinion on viral stories right away, because more facts always come out later, and by then everyone's made up their minds too much to accept any new information.  I don't always follow it, but that video was easy to.  Because, yes, the boys looked very obnoxious, but on the other hand nobody got hurt, and I couldn't tell who had approached whom, so it was possible it was some kind of misunderstanding.

After alllll the articles that flew around, I'm generally of the feeling that yes, the boys were super obnoxious.  And that Nathan Phillips was probably telling the truth when he said he was worried about what they would do and felt that he was peacemaking.  At the same time, since they didn't approach him, I don't think what they did was as bad as it could have been.  Just teenage boys, behaving rather badly, but luckily not starting a fight or anything like that.

Now their families are suing everyone who happened to describe what they saw in the video, and that I disapprove of a lot more vehemently.  I've found out a lot about slander lawsuits lately, and my main takeaway is that you can, if you are rich or a lawyer, hurt people an awful lot even if they never slandered you, simply by wasting their time and money on fighting you.  This is what the Legion of Christ used to do, and it's gross.

3

Let's see, what else am I supposed to have an opinion on?  Oh, right, Northam wearing blackface.  Again, don't really have a strong opinion.  I think at some point it would be nice if we had some kind of consistent rubric for what sort of long-ago misdeeds should be career-destroying.  Raping someone is definitely a yes, and dancing is definitely a no, but blackface?  I'm not sure.

Part of what feeds into this is that I had no idea till . . . I guess a few years ago? . . . that blackface was a thing.  People did it at Christendom and I thought it was just part of a costume, like when our school play had two black characters and zero black actors to cast.  But another time, two girls dressed up as a black woman and a Hispanic woman and told racist jokes.  That one, I did have an issue with, but I also felt confused because everyone around me was saying it was fine, it was just a joke, and we didn't have to be oversensitive.  I guess a part of me can see how someone could grow up in an environment like that and truly not realize that what they were doing was wrong.

That said, it's also perfectly likely that a person might have done it because they were a racist and still are a racist.  Racists don't generally run for office on a "vote for me, I'm a racist" platform.  (Well, these days some do!)  You're never going to get all that much evidence that someone is racist because they're going to carefully not tell you.  And then if their actions seem biased in some ways, they can always tell you they don't see race and didn't mean it that way and you're a horrible person for making such terrible assumptions.  What exactly do we have to go on?

I think it would help if people would fess up ahead of getting caught and clearly explain why they did it and how they changed.  Let them really show they understood what they did and are just as horrified now as the rest of us.  That's always what I felt Regnum Christi should do, and which they did not do.  For that matter, neither did Christendom.  While words aren't proof of anything, they do help.

Well, after I decided that, the third guy in line for Virginia Governor came out and did exactly that.  He fessed up without getting caught, he described how wrong blackface is, why he'd done it, and how he'd come around.  And for that reason, I think he's probably the best to take over if Northam steps down.  (Fairfax sounded like a great choice, and then it came out he maybe assaulted somebody.  Not the best and brightest, our VA government.)

The funny thing is that all this came out now.  Hey, if people said that about Kavanaugh, I can say it now.  A prolife group dug through Northam's past to find those pictures, deliberately, because they didn't like something he said about abortion.  That shouldn't have any bearing on our reaction to Northam -- I mean, he admitted he did it, so I'm not saying it's a lie -- but it does annoy me that the exact same people who attacked Christine Blasey Ford a few months ago for coming forward now, are eager to brand everyone as a hypocrite over Northam for not caring exactly as much about him.  Originally it was supposed to be that they were supporting him, but Democrats shocked everyone by not supporting Northam, so the goalposts have moved to "you have to care and share this around exactly as much."  It's just . . . annoying to me.  I feel the level of political discourse has plunged, and even when I say that I feel like someone is going to jump in and try to start an argument about whose fault it is.  Because that's what we have to do about everything.

4

Let's see, what else?  It's been cold.  I hate the cold.  I'm ready for spring.  We've had a warm few days, and I've loved them, but I'm not fooled.  I know it's not spring.  It's First Fake Spring, and we are due for several more before real spring.

5

I've been a lot more active on Twitter, thanks to finding a lot of interesting people there during NaNoWriMo.  I also followed a ton of literary agents and found the hashtag #writingcommunity.  There's plenty of fun stuff going on, and I've managed to miss a lot of the toxicity that has driven me away from Twitter in the past.  (I'm @agiftuniverse if you want to follow.)

6

Jackie is two.  It hasn't helped.

Well, okay, she is getting somewhat easier.  She finally dropped her nap, I think for real this time, so she's going to bed more like nine and not eleven.  And we don't have the afternoon meltdown between when she needs to nap and when she actually naps, plus the post-nap meltdown because she wanted to sleep longer.

It helps if I can get her to eat some real food.  She really needs to be eating food, and it's hard to get her to do it, especially at breakfast.  She wants to spend breakfast time on my lap, keeping me from getting any.  Or fishing in my cereal for raisins, which she then does not eat.  It's . . . not my favorite.

She talks a lot.  I'm really impressed with how much she says and pretends.

Miriam is quite prickly these days.  I don't remember four being that difficult with Michael.  It was with Marko, but less than three was . . . he mostly just fought with Michael and bit him, but there weren't the same massive meltdowns.  I guess I'm frustrated with Miriam because she was so easy six months ago.

Michael hates school a lot.  I think it wears him out.  Plus it takes away his precious free time, so that he's even more sour when I ask him to do the simplest thing, because he JUST got started playing, GOSH MOM.  Anyway I am a little concerned about it.  Is school not working for him?  Should I consider homeschooling him next year?  Or should I hope that next year he gets a teacher who manages to engage him?  That decision doesn't have to be made now, but it's definitely on my mind.

Marko is . . . Marko.  So much energy.  So much leaping around the house.  So much organizing awesome games for his siblings and then screaming in their faces if they play them wrong.

But he also is reading more and more, with greater ease, and I love that.

7

I've been using Goodreads lately to try to find books I'll like and remember the books other people recommend to me. Since it's on my phone, it's easy to pull up the app at the library and go looking for the books I want. So far this year I've found two excellent authors I hadn't read before: Ann Leckie and Naomi Novik.

Leckie's book Ancillary Justice was really good. Sci-fi often has the problem of focusing too hard on the science and not enough on character, descriptions, and style. Not this. I felt sucked into the universe of the story, and into the head of the main character - a cyborg soldier reminiscent of the Borg. Only she has a lot more emotion than people realize, and she's going through the book mourning a traumatic event that happened in the past. The story is told partly through flashbacks, and when you finally realize what happened, it's pretty emotional. I definitely would recommend it, and the sequel. I haven't read the third yet.

The Novik books I've read so far are Uprooted and Spinning Silver. They're basically fairy tales, but in an Eastern European setting that feels very different and real. The evils our characters have to deal with are deeply creepy... especially in Uprooted, where it's the forest itself.

How have you guys been?  Is anybody still reading?