Top 10 Breastfeeding Misconceptions

Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Natural Parenting Top 10 Lists

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants
have shared Top 10 lists on a wide variety of aspects of attachment
parenting and natural living. Please read to the end to find a list of
links to the other carnival participants.

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When you're pregnant, feeding your baby is something you might give some thought to. As in, "Hm, breast or bottle? I think breast. It's best, right?"

Then you have the baby, and you have a few struggles, so you do some research. You find out all kinds of information, so much stuff you wish you'd known sooner! And the next thing you know, you're so brimful of knowledge that every time someone says something ignorant about breastfeeding you are just dying to speak up.

However, when what people are saying is, "I wanted so badly to nurse my baby, but it didn't work out," you don't exactly want to come back with, "Actually, you could have, had you had the benefit of my amazing knowledge." So I tend not to reply ... but I store up these stories in my head so that I can share with people who have not yet had these problems, and my answers might do some good.

Without further ado, here are 10 things people say about breastfeeding that are not always true.

1. My baby never wanted to nurse.

All babies want to nurse. The question is, what is stopping the baby from being able to nurse? There are so many reasons. A healthy baby, placed skin-to-skin with mom immediately after birth, will usually nurse on his own within the hour. But if the baby is separated for some reason, he might not want to nurse immediately when he comes back. You may have to wait till he's awake and hungry. To help get things moving, you can put baby skin-to-skin (meaning naked on your bare chest) and let him nurse when he is ready. Check his rooting reflex by stroking his cheek. He'll turn in that direction and open his mouth. That means he wants to nurse!

Sometimes a baby might not want to nurse at birth because of discomfort. If he's been suctioned (like mine was) or if his jaw was hurt in the birth, it might take longer as well. Try to be patient, and see if you can get help.

2. I wanted to breastfeed, but my milk never came in.

My question is, how do you know it never came in? Were you nursing frequently? Did the baby's diapers turn from green and brown to yellow? Then your milk came in. Not everyone gets engorged when their milk comes in. If you're in doubt, express a little and look at the color. Colostrum is yellow; real milk is white. Transitional milk can be anywhere in between.

Some women don't have their milk come in as quickly as others. It may be delayed as much as a week due to some medications, having an IV during labor, or even no reason at all. Keep feeding the baby colostrum, supplement if necessary (preferably under the supervision of a lactation consultant or knowledgeable doctor) and be patient.

3. I knew I didn't have enough milk because my baby never burped.

Burping has nothing to do with having enough to eat, and everything to do with swallowing air. If a baby has a good latch, he might not burp at all. That's not a problem -- just one less thing for you to worry about!

4. My milk disappeared at six weeks.

This is another misconception caused by the "engorgement = milk" myth. During the first six weeks, most women have an oversupply. But around six weeks, the supply starts to regulate. Is the baby still producing enough diapers? Is he happy after nursing or screaming? He may nurse a lot at six weeks old because of a growth spurt -- but if he's just switching from side to side, nursing all day long, but happy and wetting regularly, he's getting enough.

5. My baby preferred the bottle/a binky to me.

This is not so much a "preference" as nipple confusion. A baby sucks differently at a breast, a bottle, and a pacifier. An exclusively breastfed baby can even vary his sucking based on what he wants -- deep sucking for hunger, and shallow sucking for comfort.

That shallow suck does not keep a pacifier in, so if a baby is always given a pacifier, he'll learn to suck deeply for comfort as well. And then you get a baby who can't comfort nurse, because he sucks hard and keeps getting milk. So frustrating! So he ends up with the binky, and chances are milk supply begins to decrease, baby starts getting hungry a lot, and you end up mixing up a bottle of formula. Then the baby "prefers" the bottle too, and next thing you know, you've weaned. Pacifiers and bottles may be introduced later (say around four weeks or older), but even so, they sometimes do cause confusion. Things only went really well for us once we lost the binky.

6. I didn't have enough milk -- I could only pump an ounce!

Some women respond very well to a pump, and some don't. The pump may get an ounce out while your baby gets six ounces. Lactation consultants often determine how much milk you are producing by weighing the baby, having you nurse him, then weighing again. That's the only reliable method to find out what he's getting.

Now, sometimes it's vital to be able to get out more milk with the pump. In these cases, it's helpful to have a slight oversupply. Some people have success with herbs like fenugreek or medications like domperidone. Others will find the secret to success is nursing a lot when they are with their baby -- at night, especially. Many moms will not be able to produce enough while exclusively pumping, which is why it's so vital to get the baby latching right from the get-go. If you do have to pump exclusively, be aware that it's going to be difficult. Some are successful and some aren't -- so don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work.

7. It was incredibly painful -- and his latch was perfect!

A baby's latch may appear "perfect" from the outside, but if he's not sucking properly, it will hurt like the dickens. When Marko has a stuffy nose, he can't suck well, so he tries biting. Not so nice! One common reason for a bad suck is tongue tie. There are many kinds of tongue tie and some are hard to detect -- so if you are experiencing pain, have him looked over by someone familiar with tongue tie. A tie can be clipped by an ear, nose, and throat doctor; it is not usually more than a pinch for the baby. And the difference can be dramatic!

Other suck problems may be caused by an injury to the jaw during birth -- a chiropractor or physical therapist can help you with that. Others just require practice. I've heard of "training" a baby to suck by having him suck your finger -- ask your lactation consultant.

The last reason that breastfeeding can be very painful is inverted or flat nipples. There's no cure for this one, but the pain will go away after a week or two. Other than that, nursing is NOT supposed to be painful, especially not very painful. Please see someone who can help you if you are experiencing pain!

8. I should not have had problems with nipple confusion, because I used a special "breast-like" bottle.

Sadly, there's no bottle that can imitate the breast. It might be a similar shape, but it will never require the serious sucking that a breast does. I've heard drinking out of a bottle compared to trying to do a beer bong! The milk just drips out, whether baby works for it or not. The baby might still want to nurse, but not remember how to suck, or that he'll have to suck for a few minutes before the milk appears. Don't introduce bottles before four weeks at the earliest!

9. I should not have had problems when I put my baby on a three-hour schedule. My sister did it and it worked fine for her.

Women have a different storage capacity for milk. Your sister might be able to hold three hours' worth of milk, while you can only hold two hours' worth. So if you feed your baby every three hours, he gets two hours' worth of milk every three hours. That's a recipe for disaster! Soon you will stop producing as much milk, because your body thinks it isn't needed. And the baby will stop gaining weight, or even lose weight. He may become dehydrated or fail to thrive. Please do not use these strict schedules -- feed your baby when he is hungry!

10. My baby self-weaned very suddenly at nine months.

Weaning is not usually sudden, and very rarely (if ever) do children wean themselves before the second year. Self-weaning happens when a toddler slowly reduces his nursing sessions, dropping them one by one. A sudden halt in all nursing is more likely a nursing strike. The baby loses interest in nursing for awhile, because of a new distraction like solid food. But he still needs milk. You can take the opportunity to wean to a sippy cup of formula if you want to, but otherwise, keep offering the breast, especially when he's sleepy. You may need to pump to keep up supply. A baby might stop nursing for a week or more and then come back to the breast! So if you wanted to nurse longer, don't despair just because of a temporary disinterest.

None of this is to say that there aren't real reasons why women can't breastfeed. Some really don't have enough milk. This is less common than people think, but it does happen. If you suspect low milk supply, watch wet diapers and weight gain carefully. Others don't breastfeed for myriad reasons -- incompatible medication, sickness, a medical crisis after birth, psychological discomfort, and so forth. Others could have overcome their difficulties in a perfect world, but didn't have the support to do so. Some women are devastated that they couldn't nurse. So it's important to be accepting and really listen to people's stories, instead of giving a ton of facts. This list is intended more to help other moms before they wean.

Can anyone think of more misconceptions? Did I miss anything?

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon March 8 with all the carnival links.)

• Attachment Parenting in the NICU — Erica at ChildOrganics shares some strategies to help you parent naturally in some unnatural circumstances.



• 10 Reasons to Choose Baby Led Weaning — Luschka from Diary of a First Child shares ten reasons to choose Baby Led Weaning when it comes to solids.



• Choosing to Breastfeed — From selfishness to self-giving, CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy lists reasons why breast is best for her and her family.



• Ten Things I Wish I Knew About Before Little Man — In this reflective post, The ArstyMama discusses ten things she wishes she knew more about before the birth of her son, Little Man.



• 10 Things That Helped Me Become a Natural Mama — The Accidental Natural Mama counts down ten things that helped her find her moderately crunchy inner mama self.



• Top 10 Reasons to Breastfeed Your Toddler — Extended breast-feeder Kate Wicker of Momopoly makes her own top 10 list for why she loves nursing her 2-year-old.



• Top 10 Tips on Authentic Grandparenting — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting offers a list of tips to make the grandparent-parent-child relationship flow smoothly.



• Top Ten "Dad" Things — Liam at In The Now talks about his favourite ways to spend time with his children.



• Top 10 Natural Strategies for Conception (aka How to Get Pregnant!) — Despite facing plenty of health issues, Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama found her way to two first-try pregnancies thanks to these natural strategies.



• Top Ten Reasons Why Home Birth Rocks — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud shares her passion for birthing at home - the natural place for natural birth.



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• Top Ten Ways to Be Present With Family — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares how to make the most of parenting and family life through being present.



• Top 10 Things In My Arsenal of Kitchen Witchy Mama Tricks. — Joni Rae at Tales of A Kitchen Witch shares with us the simple things she would never want to be missing from her cupboards.



• Top 10 ways I'm not very good at natural parenting (and why I keep trying anyway) — Jenny at Babyfingers shares the ways she is imperfect as a natural parent, and why she embraces natural parenting anyway.



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• Top 10 Things No One Told Me About Natural Parenting — Adrienne at Mommying My Way explains that the best things about natural parenting are things she never expected.



• Top 10 Flower Essences for Families — Kim of Nature Baby Bloggings lists her pick of the top ten flower essence which can help ease families through the ups and downs of life.



• My Top Ten Parenting Tools — Amyables at Toddler In Tow names the top ten tools that have been helpful to her while learning to parent respectfully and successfully.



• Ten Ways Families Can Enjoy Nature (for free!) — Spring is nearly in the air, and Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction is dreaming of the fun and frugal ways that her family is going to get out and enjoy nature this summer.



• 10 Reasons We Unschool — Patti at Jazzy Mama explains why unschooling is the right choice for her family.



• Must Read: Natural Parenting Top Ten — Amy at Anktangle wants you to do a little reading! She shares her top ten favorite books to help parents prepare for pregnancy, birth, and parenting.



• Top 10 Breastfeeding Misconceptions — Sheila at A Gift Universe examines ten reasons women give for why they didn't breastfeed as long as they wanted, and shows how these obstacles can be overcome.



• Ten Reasons to Plan a Home Birth — Since a home birth can be an incredibly empowering experience, Leslie at Lights and Letters outlines ten reasons why you should plan to have your baby at home.



• Top Ten Books for Birth, Breastfeeding and Parenting — Megan at Just Me(gan) writes about the ten books that have helped her the most in her natural parenting journey.



• A Top Ten Letter To Me... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes herself a letter of reflections and bits of wisdom she would have liked to know as a new mama.



• Top Ten Mama Necessities Money Can't Buy — Buying baby gear is fun, but Emily at Crunchy(ish) Mama knows real parenting must-haves can't be bought in stores (or even on Amazon).



• Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine talks about her Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum.



• Ten Great Spring Activities To Do With Preschoolers — Kellie at Our Mindful Life and her family have come up with a great list of activities to do together this spring.



• 10 Ways to Reuse Yogurt Containers — Acacia at Fingerpaint & Superheroes keeps the stacks of yogurt containers out of her recycling bin by reusing them in both practical and creative ways.



• Top Ten Ways To Have a Harmonious Home — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her natural parenting-inspired methods for maintaining a harmonious daily life with her toddler.



• 10 Natural Baby Items I Love — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares product ideas to support your natural parenting.



• The Pandas' Top Five Crunch-osophies — Top five crunchy philosophies, as employed at the Panda Residence by Ana at Pandamoly.



• Top 10 Reasons to Leave Your Son Intact — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children has shared 10 reasons why you should leave your newborn son intact.



• Ten things everyone should know about unassisted homebirth — Olivia at Write About Birth shares practical tips for women considering an unassisted homebirth and debunks some common myths



• 10 Most Popular Ways To Treat Cloth Diaper Stains — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey gives ten easy tips to make your diapers like new.



• 10 Lessons in 1 Year — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares 10 parenting lessons that she has learned throughout her first year of motherhood.



• Top 10 Ways to Get Breastfeeding Off To a Good Start — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes shares 10 effective ways to ensure breastfeeding gets off to a good start.



• Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out — If you are uncomfortable using time-outs in an attempt to control your child's behavior, try one of these gentler alternatives. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares her Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out.



• My Top 10 Parenting Scriptures — Dulce de leche is learning to integrate faith and parenting. Whether it is breastfeeding, babywearing, comforting her children, or gentle discipline, she finds that the Bible has beautiful passages to encourage her on her journey.



• Natural Cleaning Ideas - Top 10 — Laura at Laura's Blog lists the ways she keeps her house clean and clear of chemicals.



• My Top Ten (plus two) Life Altering and Growth Inspiring Books — A top ten list of books from MJ at Wander Wonder Discover that changed her life as an individual, a parent, and an earth dweller.



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• 10 reasons why I chose breast over bottles — Becky at Old New Legacy writes a quick list of why she chose breast over bottles.



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• Natural Parenting Benny & Bex Style — Pecky at Benny and Bex explains why Natural Parenting principles work best for her boys.



• Top 10 Reasons to Co-Sleep — 10 practical, emotional, and completely selfish reasons to co-sleep and share a family bed from Lily, aka Witch Mom.



• My Top Ten New Mommy Moments — Melissa at The New Mommy Files recounts the ten most memorable moments of her daughter's first year.



• Top Ten Things Every Breastfeeding Mother Needs to Know — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood believes knowledge is power and wants all moms to be well informed.



• Top 10 Nursing Positions / Situations — Momma Jorje uses her 5½ years of nursing experience to share her Top 10 Nursing Positions/Situations. She includes some adorable photos of her youngest daughter at the breast.



• Ten Top Ways to Connect Kids with Nature — Terri from Child at the Nature Isle offers 10 ways to immerse ourselves in the natural world and develop a love affair with the Earth.



• Top 10 Slacker Ways to Natural Parent — Guavalicious is happy to show you how to parent naturally the slacker way.



• Simply what it looks like — Andrea!!! from Ella-Bean & Co. offers a glimpse into natural parenting through the eyes of mama and babe.



• Top Ten Reasons Why Natural Parenting Dads Are So Attractive — Nada at miniMOMist sure digs her husband, but it's not just his good looks -- it's his parenting!



• 10 Family Systems and Routines That Work for Us — See what routines, organizational systems, and parenting approaches work for Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings to help avoid conflict and maintain sanity in a family with three young children.



• Top 10 reasons to choose midwifery care — Lauren at Hobo Mama lists the features that drew her to midwives' care for pregnancy and birth.



• 10 Ways to Cloth Diaper on a Budget — Michelle at The Parent Vortex shares her best thrifty cloth diapering tips.



• Ten Reasons it Felt Sew Good To Make My Own Play Food — Brittany at Mama's Felt Cafe lists her 10 (OK, 11) favorite reasons to grab a needle and start sewing your own felt play toys.



• Top10 Ways to Spark Interest, Learn, and Have Fun With Everyday Tasks! — Bethy at Bounce Me to the Moon gives you her top 10 ways of incorporating fun and lessons into everyday tasks and chores.



• Postpartum Gift Ideas — Alicia at I Found My Feet suggests a top 10 list of gifts for mother's after giving birth.



• My Top Ten Shows Worthy Of Screen Time — Tree at Mom Grooves shares her top ten list of shows that she believes are positive, educational, kind, joyful, and a nice way to share some downtime with your children.



• The Top 10 Ways to Succeed as an Working Attachment Parent — That Mama Gretchen shares tried and true ways to succeed with attachment parenting even when working away from home during the day.



• Top Ten Books for Natural Parenting — Pregnancy, herbs, cooking, and healthcare the ten books Asha at Meta Mom the most.



• Preparing for a Hospital VBAC: My Top 10 — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis shares 10 ways she's preparing for her upcoming hospital VBAC.



• Top Ten New Mom Survival Tools — Wolfmother shares her most beloved motherhood survival tools at Fabulous Mama Chronicles.



• Top 10 Montessori Principles for Natural Learning — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now gives her top 10 list of Montessori principles parents can use to encourage their children s natural learning.



• Going Granola — Tashmica from The Mother Flippin' Blog describes the 10 ways that natural parenting sneaked up on her. She never expected to go all granola on the world.



• Step Away From the Amazon List — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine wishes she hadn't bought so much useless stuff.