I know I haven't been posting a lot lately. I'm worried people will think I'm sick, or dead, or depressed, or pregnant, but that's not the case at all. I'm actually doing pretty well, but the keyboard on my tablet is broken. The h key doesn't work, but sometimes h's appear when I hit other keys. Probably got spilled on one too many times. I use the onscreen keyboard for my facebook posts, but it's maddeningly slow so I've had to be a lot quieter on the internet. Which is very frustrating to me because typing is one of the main ways I get my thoughts out! I could switch to vlogs, I guess, but I find my own face and voice embarrassing.
I'm on John's computer at the moment, but that's not a very good solution because it's a desktop and I can't stay in one corner of the house for very long. Especially not when it's the non-air-conditioned corner!
I really want to fix or replace that keyboard, though, because I am starting to get ideas for stories again! That's always a good sign about how my life is going, when I stop worrying about practical problems and start wondering about different methods of faster-than-light travel and their effects on plot development.
I don't know if I would have time to write any of this stuff out, but I still enjoy planning it out. The stuff I'm working out right now is easier than my previous writing, because it isn't historical fantasy. Working with history demands research. I enjoy the research, but it takes a lot of time and the trouble is, if you don't write anything right away, you start to forget key details. The two stories at the top of my mind right now are one about an alien coming to earth for the first time, and one about a girl raised in a post-apocalyptic survivalist cult. They're both very exciting and I hope I sometime get a chance to write them all out.
Maybe after the boys start school. I am still a little mixed about it, but mostly looking forward to the first day of school in the middle of August. I'm hoping it gives me time to pay attention to Miriam and Jackie, as well as giving Marko and Michael some extra attention and interest. They have been both acting very bored lately, which results in them either being at each other's throats or all over me. I know they need more stimulation in their life -- more play dates, more outings, whatever -- but that just isn't in me right now. As it is I'm taking them places at least twice a week! It's fun but Jackie misses naps and I can't get the housework done if we're always running around.
Marko has agreed to give school a try in return for a reward. After the first month of school, Marko will get a video camera and Michael will get a remote control car -- that is, they will each get the thing they've been wishing and dreaming for for years. Michael didn't really need any motivation, but you can't reward one kid and not the other. Marko has decided one month of school is worth it, but once he gets the camera, he says he's not going to school anymore. I'm hoping by then he's found out it's not so scary after all.
I still have to get them physicals, take them school shopping for backpacks and lunchboxes, and find out what supplies they will need for school. What do you have to do to get ready for a year of school? When do I find out who their teachers will be? I feel really intimidated by the public-school scene -- I feel, just like when I was in school, like everyone else knows all the rules and I don't.
Jackie continues to get easier. She sometimes takes a good long nap, and when she's awake she often is okay lying on a blanket. She can roll over both ways and sometimes even gets on hands and knees. She grabs toys and can sometimes put her pacifier back in if she drops it. I'm so on top of life right now that I'm actually using cloth diapers for part of the day. Which goes to show how my standards have shifted and how many things I used to think were important I have had to jettison. But, so long as I eventually get back to those things, it's not so bad.
She took TWO hour-plus naps today. Pretty sure this is the first time that's ever happened!
Miriam is mostly a delight and sometimes terrible. John calls her Destroyer of Souls because of how exhausting she is, especially at night. She's almost three and still wakes most nights, sometimes several times. And her bedtime can be really long. However, last night I convinced her to let me sit with her for fifteen minutes and then leave, and she fell asleep on her own! Fluke or the beginning of a wonderful trend? I hope the latter.
In the daytime she is mostly very good for a kid her age. She is a good talker and negotiates for what she wants. Occasionally she has a total meltdown where she rejects all comfort and screams loudly over whatever you try to say to her. She'll be screaming that she wants a cookie, and you can be trying to explain that she totally can have a cookie, and she won't listen to you. This can go on for nearly an hour -- or, you can hand her the baby and she'll instantly calm down. Nothing else in the whole world works, but her sister calms her right down to where she snuggles the baby and says in a sad voice, "I love my sister so much, I was so sad, I was crying, I had a sad face, Jackie makes me feel better." It's super adorable.
As I write this, Michael is trying to look at a magazine by himself and Marko is trying to get up in his face for no apparent reason. I have exiled Marko to one side of the couch and let Michael be on the other, but Marko is whining that he wants to get closer to Michael, and Michael is screeching at me that Marko is still too close. Ugh. These two. Marko can be downright compulsive in his need to say over and over some ridiculous thing that upsets his brother, while Michael is amazingly oversensitive and goes bananas about the repetition of some innocuous thing. So they had a fight a few minutes ago where Marko kept repeating "knights didn't have newspapers" and Michael was screaming and sobbing about it. Sometimes it's just a noise Marko makes. I hardly know who to blame for these fights because both are being so unreasonable!
The real solution is for them not to be with each other, but both are completely unwilling to be alone. What they want is for me to lock up the other one so that they can stay with me. But that's hardly fair, is it? Especially when I too am getting annoyed by them.
And Michael is just really, really unhappy a lot of the time. I don't understand it. Some days he says his head hurts, which is something I'm definitely going to consult the doctor about. But other times he's crabby for no reason and insists he's not feeling bad, it's just that everyone is being mean to him ... even when they're not. I just don't get why he's always so unhappy! But if I look back on his life, he's usually been like this. He was a fussy baby unless he was nursing all the time, whined most of Miriam's first year of life because he wasn't getting to nurse and be held all the time, and while I thought he was cured of all that, I have to admit that he's getting awfully whiny again. When he's happy he's just a delight -- he loves to help out, is super affectionate, and is always looking for new experiences and challenges. But he often isn't, and I don't know why. Not enough sleep maybe? He gets the most sleep of anybody in the family, but that doesn't mean he doesn't need more.
Of course while I've been writing this they stopped fighting and collaborated for a bit -- to throw water on the dog. I put a stop to that (no water play indoors, that's a hard and fast rule obviously) and now they are fighting because they both want to watch TV but can't agree on what they'd like to watch. Marko wants a documentary about chromosomes and Michael wants a cartoon. If I put on something Marko wants, Michael and Miriam try to watch it but get bored and start fighting (why don't they just go play???), but if I put on something Marko doesn't like (which is most things) he claps his arms over his ears and shrieks lest he accidentally hear a bit of a show he doesn't like. These kids, I tell ya.
I forgot to mention that my family came to visit recently. We had a really wonderful time. It was just my mom and sister this time, but Juliana got along swimmingly with the kids. Marko says she is his best friend now. I really wish we could see them more often.
How have y'all been?