Sunday, March 1, 2015

My prayer

My plan for Lent was to pray every day, and to that end I stuck the Te Deum to the wall to remind me to say it.  Some days that works well.  Other days it just doesn't speak at all to the things I'm thinking.  So on those days I say something like this:

God,
If you're out there, I want to know it.
If you love me, I want to feel it.
If you came to earth, I want to believe that.
If you rose from the dead, I want to have confidence in that.
If you founded the Church, I want to have absolute trust in it.

And sometimes I add something along the lines of,

Please exist.  The world is better with you in it.
Either way I still love you.

I'm not angry at God for all my doubts.  Instead I wonder if this might be just the particular way in which I'm supposed to be glorifying him.  Didn't Thomas' doubt just give God the opportunity to offer more proof?  He still became a saint, after all.

1 comment:

John Janaro said...

Sheila, you are a beautiful soul. Stay with your prayer, and I will try to pray with you, and plead with you.

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