I'm not even going to bother linking this up since I missed writing it on Friday. I spent Friday playing outside in the back yard, and it was time well spent!
The weather has been truly glorious the past few days, as in it's actually comfortable to be outside. I can relax outside with a book and just soak up rays. I feel like a plant .... drinking in life just by sitting in the sun. I've been feeling down and depressed and anxious and tired and crabby for so long, and a little sunshine just seems to melt those awful feelings away! (Yes, I take vitamin D. Maybe not enough?)
It was just amazing, today and yesterday, the way everything improved so fast. Both days I had migraines and was exhausted due to not sleeping. (Michael's been hit or miss lately.) Both days I couldn't get up the energy to do housework, the kids were fighting and making messes, and I had zero tolerance for their clinginess. But I'd go outside and everything was instantly better. First there was peace, as the kids found projects to do in the dirt and stick piles. Then there was tranquility as I soaked up the sun. Then within twenty minutes or so, I started getting this irresistible urge to get up, do toe touches, run around. And that seemed to help the headaches, too!
I wish it were real spring, but the weather people say we'll be back to cold soon. Oh well. A few more weeks!
Big news for us -- John got the job! It's an improvement in every possible way: pay is better, he will be using his degree, the work looks challenging but not beyond him, it appears to be a positive work environment, and NO TRAVEL!
John's trips have been the bane of my existence for two years now. I don't know why they are so awful. After all, I get through every weekday without him anyway, without much help in the mornings as he's getting ready for work, and with only an hour or two of help in the evenings. But just knowing there is another adult going to show up and lighten the load at the end of the day changes the whole day. Even on days when he's got something going on in the evening and can't help out much, just getting to see him seems to keep me sane!
I know I seem like a whiner when there are women who take care of kids solo for months on end due to deployments or whatever, and women who do everything solo all the time because they are single mothers. All I can say is, that sucks for them too. Being the only person responsible for such needy people, the only person they want and the only one who can give them what they need, is draining in every way. It is always, always sub-optimal to be all alone in the mammoth job of raising children. Just thinking of it makes me want to make friends with some single moms so I can babysit their kids. You need someone to give you a break.
Anyway, that awful season of our lives is over. John's job will require the occasional weekend, or an evening event now and again, but he won't be away overnight for work AT ALL. What a beautiful thought.
I have managed to stay out of Facebook drama for several days, go me! I'm now in a polite and interesting conversation about politics and free markets. Unlike debates, it actually makes me happy.
Oh wait, I'm in a debate about circumcision. But it's a friendly one. ;) I do enjoy debating as long as everyone is willing to be respectful, and the facebook group for Christendom's debate society is an excellent place to have that kind of discussion. There's some good-natured joshing, some rather deliberate pomposity, but no personal attacks. A nice place like that for discussions is hard to find.
I sometimes go to the real debates, too, and have a good time, but I do think I express my ideas best in writing. I'm afraid if you all met me, you'd find me much more dull in person!
Today I enjoyed all the benefits of shopping, without any of the miseries of shopping. That is, I went to a clothing swap. It was great. I'm not sure any of my stuff got claimed -- I took a lot to Goodwill at the end. But there were boxes and boxes of clothes there, and I walked away with two good church outfits, three pairs of jeans with NO HOLES, and quite a few shirts that fit my standards: comfy enough to be like t-shirts, but not t-shirts so I can stop being that person who shows up to everything in a ratty t-shirt.
On the topic of church clothes, am I the only one who hates getting dressed up for church? You would think, since I dress down the rest of the time, it would be nice to dress up for a change. And sometimes it is. But a lot of the time, I get angsty about it. Who am I dressing up for? I don't want to dress up just so I don't look out of place .... and anyway, I can't afford to dress to the standard that most people at our parish do. (I mean the church we often attend, with the nice cry room but in a much richer area than where we live.) I worry too much about what people think of me, and church is one place where I would like not to do that.
But if I'm dressing up for God, what's the standard? What I like? I like to have warm feet and legs, which is basically incompatible with looking nice, at least with my wardrobe. What God likes? God created me naked, but I'm sure as heck not showing up like that to church!
What works best for me is designating one or two standard church outfits which are fancy enough to be appropriate and look like I'm going to extra effort, but which never change so I am not moaning as I root through the closet with ten minutes before we leave. I'm hoping these two new outfits do the trick. I haven't had a "standard outfit" since I finally wore out my old favorite skirt.
How you know you're an English major and a mother -- you find yourself contemplating writing essays like these:
Babar the King as a Defense of French Colonialism
The Utilitarian World of the Island of Sodor
Guilt, Fear, and Parental Absence in The Cat in the Hat
Impossible Expectations: Turns Out There Is Not Always Room on Mother's Lap
As well as all the questions that float through my mind as I read: Why is the bed flying all of a sudden in It's Time to Sleep, My Love? Can the speaker in My Love Will Find You possibly be anyone short of God? Why didn't the rabbit in Goodnight Moon finish his mush? Why do animal bedtime books always have the animal babies going to sleep on their own instead of with their mothers?
And for the last time, Thomas the Tank Engine writers: Are those engines able to drive without drivers, or not? And if not, why the heck do they have sentience at all?
How has your week been?