CatholicMommy mentioned in the combox the other day that people tend to act like a pregnant woman is public property. Ain't that the truth. So many nosy questions!
Last time I was pregnant, I worked in a school, so every day I would see the kids' parents. That is to say, I would see a gang of women who had all been pregnant before and had determined that they were going to shepherd me through the whole thing. Basically, they took one look at my pregnant belly and took possession of it: this is OUR first-time mom and we are going to find out EVERYTHING about her pregnancy and give her TONS of advice. All conflicting, of course.
However, those lists of witty answers to prying questions wouldn't have worked for me, because I actually did like these women (mostly) and I wanted to maintain a good professional relationship with them, anyway. So when they asked, "Do you know what it is?" I couldn't exactly answer, "Well, we're really hoping it's a baby and not a lizard." You know?
So I've compiled this list of polite ways to evade rude questions. Don't get me wrong -- it will still be obvious you're evading questions. And certainly some rude people will persist because they want to know the answer that badly. But most people will hear a polite evasion and realize that you'd rather not say. And it's a little nicer to have a polite evasion ready than just to say, "I prefer not to say," to every single question.
Are you pregnant (when you don't want to tell yet)?
*I sure wouldn't mind if I was!
*You'd be one of the first to know!
*No news yet, but I'll keep you posted!
When's your due date?
*In the spring.
*We're hoping he'll be out by May 17th [add two weeks to your due date].
(In case you're wondering, the reason not to tell people your exact due date is to avoid people hounding you on and after the due date if you haven't delivered yet. I personally don't mind sharing mine, but I always remind people "but you know, that's just the doctor's guess!")
Oh my goodness, are you sure? You're so big/little!
*That's funny, someone this morning told me exactly the opposite!
*My doctor/midwife says I'm measuring just right.
Is it a boy or a girl?
*Hopefully it's one of those! (with a smile)
*I guess we'll find out when it comes out! (Hint: even if you know, they will find out when it comes out. So I think this is still an honest answer whether you know the gender or not.)
Which do you want?
*I'm just hoping for a mellow baby.
*Secretly, I hope it's a redhead.
*Thank goodness I don't have to decide -- I'd never be able to choose!
Have you picked out a name?
*There are a few we're thinking about.
*I'll have to see the baby for myself before I'm 100% sure.
Was this planned?
*God planned it from all eternity! (Say this to anyone who asks you at church. They should totally know better.)
*Well, it was certainly good news, if that's what you mean!
*I don't plan my life in that much detail, but I was happy about it!
Are you done?
*I guess we'll see in a few years, won't we?
*Depends on how much we like this one.
Don't you know what causes that?
*After this many kids, we're beginning to put two and two together.
*Oh, yes, we know all about how the stork leaves the babies under cabbage leaves. (wink)
What?! You are having a natural birth/an epidural/a midwife/a home birth/a hospital birth?!
*We're still doing our research.
*So far we both agree that it's the best choice for us. (Bringing up your spouse is handy ... if they're not present and the person can't argue with them.)
*Based on my risk factors, it's actually a very safe choice for me.
(Of course there are loads of other things you could say if you want to evangelize, but these are pass-the-bean-dip answers for the people you DON'T want to argue with.)
Can you think of any more rude questions you get when you're pregnant? Can you think of any better answers? Answering a prying question without seeming rude or offending the asker is a tough job!