tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post3624282655179116018..comments2023-10-21T03:54:12.029-04:00Comments on A Gift Universe: THIS is the terrible twosSheilahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-19578416567622295152012-08-28T12:40:37.524-04:002012-08-28T12:40:37.524-04:00It's been a few months since this was posted, ...It's been a few months since this was posted, but I just saw the photo and went, "Charlie Brown!" Marko looks just like him here! =)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03198759870259042549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-19277327777900393392012-03-22T18:42:28.235-04:002012-03-22T18:42:28.235-04:00PDO = Parent's Day Out. It's at a local ch...PDO = Parent's Day Out. It's at a local church here. It's much like daycare, but limited time (9-1) and with less...$ and contracts and um...stuff. A kid can go every day or one day/week or occasionally, if they have room.<br /><br />Kids are - or should be- less well behaved with Mom and Dad - it truly means they feel safe. They can push the boundaries and not be afraid of what will happen if they push too far. This isn't just with adopted kids; it's all of them. I think of how well-behaved I was as a child...and it was only because I was afraid.<br /><br />So....anyway...<br /><br />For me, seeing my sons with others, doing what I tried and tried to teach (and thought was to no avail) with no prompting gave me hope that I was doing OK. <br /><br />Glad to hear he (and you) had a good day.Momsomniacnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-28041234772407778052012-03-21T20:55:26.994-04:002012-03-21T20:55:26.994-04:00What is PDO?
Until Marko was a year old, I kept h...What is PDO?<br /><br />Until Marko was a year old, I kept him with me or Daddy at all times because of my principles. Since then, I've kept him with one of us at all times because of our budget. Babysitters cost a bundle, so we keep it for when it's really needed.<br /><br />I used to be a nanny, and I could easily see the kids behaved better with me than with their parents. Of course I drew the conclusion that I was better at dealing with their kids than they were. Now I have my own, I know better. Kids are just different for Mom! Even though I know this, though, it would probably really shake my confidence to see Marko interacting great with other adults when he's so bad (sometimes) with me. I'd assume it was because they were better at parenting my child than I am.<br /><br />On the other hand, after I wrote this post last night, Marko went on to have a stellar day today. He was happy the whole day, entertained himself, and even -- with lots of supervision and reminding -- did not pull up my seedlings. He also stopped what he was doing when I yelled "no" -- thus meaning he did NOT dump the dog's water dish, and did NOT pull my seed-starting pots off the counter. I guess when he is feeling good, he has a much easier time listening and following directions.Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-87214393837949413202012-03-21T13:01:48.131-04:002012-03-21T13:01:48.131-04:00I don't know if you guys can swing it, but one...I don't know if you guys can swing it, but one half day/week in a PDO program could do two things:<br /><br />Give you a break, which everyone needs, even from our beloved children, and<br /><br />Allow you to see how he interacts with other adults (I have "spied" on my kids for this)and other kids - who are not family or "like family."<br /><br />Barring that, play dates without you (at least without you visible) with an adult you trust overseeing him could work.<br /><br />Kids are always at their worst with their parents....it means they feel safe. As hard as it is, it isn't a terrible thing. When we adopted son 2, we were told that when he started doing this - it was *good* thing, because it meant he was bonded, felt safe, and so on.<br /><br />So I think you need some way to see how he is when you aren't around (or he thinks you aren't around:), with other adults and kids in the mix. Because I think that will give you a *lot* of comfort and confidence about how you are doing.<br /><br /><br />Hugs and blessings....Momsomniachttp://momsomniac.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-23177022314380868582012-03-21T07:53:45.424-04:002012-03-21T07:53:45.424-04:00Aw, thanks, guys. I feel so much better knowing t...Aw, thanks, guys. I feel so much better knowing that other people's toddlers were like this and turned out okay!<br /><br />And there's nothing more comforting than the thought that it's probably not my fault. A blog I usually like, Code Name: Mama, defined the terrible twos as "An annoying alliteration used to describe the emotional breakdowns that occur (in both toddlers and parents) when parents spend more time attempting to control behavior and engage forced cooperation than they do in nurturing their toddlers’ natural growth, independence, and curiosity." Yeah, so those meltdowns wouldn't happen if I were doing it right? Thanks a lot.<br /><br />Aunt Sarah, I hadn't thought of that, but you're right -- babies do sleep a lot at first, so maybe things won't change all that much at first. At least, if I can get through those first couple of weeks!<br /><br />I don't think the seedlings themselves are the attraction so much as the fact that they're forbidden. I've given him stuff to pull up in every other part of the yard. But he knows that if he goes for the seedlings, I will get up out of my chair and come after him ... which is a game as far as he's concerned. He doesn't understand how much my back hurts, so he wants me on my feet at all times.<br /><br />Sarah Faith, I have always thought that having a big family is a sure-fire spoiling prevention. I don't think kids are spoiled by being left to their own devices for the most part. But I think they can very well be spoiled by too much constant attention. (Not that Marko is getting that now. He isn't; that's why he's so mad at me! He doesn't get why I should have to cook food before feeding him, wash clothes, do dishes, and so forth, and he can get SO demanding when I'm busy. But it helps to involve him in what I'm doing, where possible.)<br /><br />Anyway, it's reassuring to hear this is more-or-less normal. Because it looks like today is going to be more of the same, and I need whatever encouragement I can get!Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-41762176311358986082012-03-21T07:09:28.434-04:002012-03-21T07:09:28.434-04:00Oh bless you. Really it won't always be like t...Oh bless you. Really it won't always be like this, I have seven children 14 through to a baby, some of mine have been like this. My ealdest was so hard as a little fellow, and my now six year old was even harder, they're both lovely now (mostly). They have lively and enquiring minds and have a woderful line in arguing which I'm sure will stand them in good stead as adults, but when you're in the trenches it's HARD. My two year old daughter is going through it now and how I wish she'd get over it. The only advice I'd give, you seem to have your limits and consequences set really well, is really try and limit situations where he's going to be tempted to do or want something that he can't have, day to day life throws up so many situations where you can't control that, when you can make the most of it.<br />You're not raising a monster you're raising an adult and you seem to be doing a wonderful job. |The only control worth haveing in the long term is self control, that's what you're teaching him, but it's terribly hard sometimes. Good luck and God bless. <br />-TheresaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-27030730393818504192012-03-20T23:47:06.212-04:002012-03-20T23:47:06.212-04:00No advice. Just know you aren't going to ruin ...No advice. Just know you aren't going to ruin him any which way you go. It's a period of time and you have a lot of years before he turns 18 to fix any minor issues that may come up because you didn't follow "the perfect parenting plan" when he hit the 2's. <br />Having a second will also help a good deal as you will not be ABLE to 'spoil' him - you will have to divide your attentions. And that's a good thing. :) Hang in there. You're doing fine. <br />I raised each kid differently and they all hit the same milestones. :) haha. Comimg up on my 6th two year old. Same old story. I love it.Sarah Faithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08878664620465280344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-72923979796985291042012-03-20T21:27:00.987-04:002012-03-20T21:27:00.987-04:00I wish I had some wonderful advice to give you but...I wish I had some wonderful advice to give you but, alas, the whole process is a daily navigation in which we, as parents, will need to find detours around the new obstacles the little ones throw at us.<br /><br />Celeste is a strong willed child. I have said before, and I am sure I will say it a thousand times more, that I wish she would just listen to me when I tell her something, rather than having to explain why all the time. But, so far, this works for us. I can usually talk her down from almost any ledge without too much hubbub if I am calm and patient. Just like with your mirror example, this is the best option we have found. If we explain to her why we can't allow something or do something she wants, she will usually accept it with little fuss.<br /><br />Celeste is also a loving child and I make it a point to overboard in praise when she does something right. I made a conscious decision in he beginning of my journey as her Mommy to try not to be a "no" mom. I give in on a lot of little things and sand firm when I need to. Getting her way every a few times a day allows her to feel empowered and it helps keep a smile on my face with he silly choices.<br /><br />You are NOT ruining your child. It is his job to push boundaries that naturally change as he ages and matures. It is your job to ensure those boundaries keep him safe. As for the seedlings, is it possible that he could pull weeds elsewhere? You've probably tried it but its the kind of thing I would suggest with my own little one.<br /><br />Also, when the little one comes, you'll have some time to get your feet under you in the beginning when they sleep so much, I found that a relief and it helped ease Celeste and I into a new relationship, not only as a now stay at home mom, but also as a mom to two.Sarahhttp://batduck.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.com