tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post720740683675262057..comments2023-10-21T03:54:12.029-04:00Comments on A Gift Universe: QuietSheilahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-55207318460845999292012-07-27T16:53:37.128-04:002012-07-27T16:53:37.128-04:00No, you didn't sound mean. It just occurs to ...No, you didn't sound mean. It just occurs to me most extroverts would get a ton out of this book. You know yourself well, but the rest of the world needs to hear your voice.<br /><br />I HATE talking on the phone. I was thrilled to realize my doctor's office has a way to make appointments online. At least, until I found they never check their email. Sigh. Maybe soon they will find a way to eliminate any need for me to cold-call strangers.Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-84295375585981436682012-07-24T15:20:16.848-04:002012-07-24T15:20:16.848-04:00I'm sorry if I sounded mean; that was not my i...I'm sorry if I sounded mean; that was not my intention. And I didn't mean to imply that I think "Quiet" is a useless book or anything. It just wasn't useful for me and I might have gotten a little defensive about it since I have NEVER seen a negative review of it anywhere. Like, it's not the best book in the history of books, people!<br /><br />In other words, it's not you, it's me. <br /><br />Also, I feel very bad for shy extroverts or extroverts with social anxiety. I really don't suffer much at all from my shyness on a day-to-day basis. I just run into problems when I have to, you know, make a dentist appointment. (I'm terrified of talking on the phone and avoid it like the plague. Why do more people not use email?)The Sojournerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04559244806125834569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-91003506309269856292012-07-24T13:06:39.698-04:002012-07-24T13:06:39.698-04:00Enbrethiliel, not all introverts are highly sensit...Enbrethiliel, not all introverts are highly sensitive (my husband isn't) and not all sensitive people are introverts (I'm probably not, I'm thinking... I just go back and forth on it). You might try taking the test on the link to Elaine Aron's website (http://hsperson.com/pages/test.htm).<br /><br />Sojourner, be fair ... extroverts are capable of reading books too! I think any business owner ought to read Quiet to realize how to get the most out of the introverts in his company. So should every parent or teacher. And I have to say, it helped me get into my husband's head a little bit. I understand him pretty well (because I am so sensitive) but I never quite got his introversion so much before reading that book. Last week we were in the airport together and we were both stressed and overstimulated. I immediately reached for my comfort source, i.e. his arm, and he shook me off. For a second I was hurt, but then I realized -- for him, arm grabs are just more stimulus at a time when he's already overstimulated. So I showed my love by taking care of check-in, and when we were out of the crowded line, that was the time for hugs. It didn't occur to me that it was about *stimulus,* not about strangers or noise specifically.<br /><br />Your mention of social anxiety disorder makes me think. Maybe I'm an extrovert with social anxiety. I'm the world's chattiest person around people I know, but terrified of strangers, strange situations, loud noises, crowded rooms, etc. I was always a little shy but this was WAY intensified after boarding school. And then there's my family situation -- I grew up in a very quiet home with one very introverted brother. Then I got all these extra siblings, and they are ALL very extroverted and loud. Being around them for five minutes, all talking at once, makes me want to run outside and climb a tree! Only they would FOLLOW me.<br /><br />I find this topic endlessly fascinating, so expect more posts to come on the subject!Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-48665792241754385092012-07-23T10:06:26.795-04:002012-07-23T10:06:26.795-04:00Commenting again just to subscribe.Commenting again just to subscribe.The Sojournerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04559244806125834569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-38597826325008696932012-07-23T10:06:00.193-04:002012-07-23T10:06:00.193-04:00I am an introvert and also extremely shy (actually...I am an introvert and also extremely shy (actually, I probably have social anxiety disorder, but that's a whole rabbit trail in itself). My husband is an introvert but not shy at all. He LOVES people and can talk for hours and doesn't mind at all that his workplace is very open. (He's a computer programmer, though, which is like THE nerd profession.) But when he comes home he just wants to sit with his computer and play videogames. (Meanwhile, I've been alone all day and want some nice low-key social interaction with a person who's not a scary stranger. I do have a very very tiny social interaction tank that needs to be filled from time to time.) But if you put him at a wedding reception or other party with loud music he turns into a total wallflower because the noise overwhelms him and he just wants to sit and observe, not interact. This used to make me mad because I rely on him to take the pressure off me in social situations by being his usual charming self. One of the few things I liked about "Quiet" was that it pointed out that introverts tend to be overwhelmed by stimuli in general, not JUST people. It helped me understand my people-loving husband. <br /><br />Other than that, I was kind of frustrated with "Quiet." I think maybe because so much of the content was stuff I'd already figured out all on my own just from living for 22 years as an introvert. (I don't know if this is true universally, but in my very limited experience introverts tend to be more interested in personality theory and stuff than extroverts, perhaps because they are used to parsing social interactions rather than just interacting effortlessly and instinctively. So introverts KNOW that they're introverts.)<br /><br />The part that was most interesting to me was the chapter about raising an introverted child. One of the most frustrating elements of my childhood was constantly being pressured to be more gregarious. I knew from a very early age that my parents worried about me because I didn't have enough friends. I didn't get why my 1 or 2 close friends didn't count as "having friends." To this day, the only time I have introvert/extrovert clashes are with family members. (My mother is an extrovert and I'm reasonably certain that my mother-in-law is as well.) Anyway, I love some sort of social handbook on how to deal with the extroverts in one's life. And perhaps some kind of flashy YouTube video for the extroverts on how to deal with introverts. (Yes, I'm being a little silly here. I <3 you, extroverts! Now leave me alone!)<br /><br />I find this topic endlessly fascinating, so pardon me if I rambled.The Sojournerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04559244806125834569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-25111915783616034992012-07-21T22:26:32.252-04:002012-07-21T22:26:32.252-04:00+JMJ+
I've never had any doubt that I was an...+JMJ+ <br /><br />I've never had any doubt that I was an introvert, although I have a job that requires a level of extroversion that leaves me exhausted at the end of the day. (I also become really chatty--well, okay, <i>loud</i>--around people I've become comfortable with . . . but it takes a while!) <br /><br />When you started describing the "highly sensitive person," though, I didn't think that applied to me because I can be really <i>oblivious</i> about what's going on around me. (My mental world can be so much more interesting!) But then you got to the part about attributing emotions to animals, plants, objects and even body parts, and I thought, "Hey, that <i>is</i> me!" LOL! <br /><br />Thanks for the review. It sounds like a great book! =)<br /><br />PS -- That's an interesting point about Marko possibly seeing spanking as a <i>reward</i>. The nine-year-old boy I currently tutor has started acting up at school because he realised it gets him the attention he craves from his parents. (They are separated and his mother works late, so the only time he can control when he gets to see them is when they have to drop everything and yell at him! Unfortunately . . .)Enbrethilielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03414765854670926854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-33706122086598183892012-07-16T14:46:21.337-04:002012-07-16T14:46:21.337-04:00Its heartening to know I'm not the only one wh...Its heartening to know I'm not the only one who was upset if someone smacked my dolls or stuffed toys. I always thought I was crazy. And I have lots of trouble to this day in looking at myself from someone else's perspective. I enjoy completely silent retreats and welcome them.<br /><br />Yet, people think I am an extrovert because I had to project that when I worked.<br /><br />At least I'm not crazy. Maybe I should get this book!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com