tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post5456362141206149089..comments2023-10-21T03:54:12.029-04:00Comments on A Gift Universe: Maybe it won't suckSheilahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-34181149686215572412014-08-11T12:42:28.563-04:002014-08-11T12:42:28.563-04:00Well, my mother-in-law is about that age and just ...Well, my mother-in-law is about that age and just started college! She never got to finish her degree before, and she's decided she wants to earn a doctorate. More power to her! She gives me hope that there is, indeed, life after toddlers. (She has TEN kids too.)Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-14338466343474141192014-08-09T18:30:52.366-04:002014-08-09T18:30:52.366-04:00Well, we have plenty of time to change our minds! ...Well, we have plenty of time to change our minds! <br /><br />Sometimes I think, "But by the time I don't have little kids I might be like FIFTY." And then I realize fifty-year-olds probably don't think of themselves as being practically dead of old age. :)<br /><br />(My parents are 48 and 51, so I really have no excuse.)The Sojournerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04559244806125834569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-45882282209384643802014-08-08T21:20:49.220-04:002014-08-08T21:20:49.220-04:00I actually think all mothers should have a second ...I actually think all mothers should have a second career in mind. It gives us a direction, and perhaps something to study in our spare time. Of course I keep changing my mind about mine ....Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-13099033326504528292014-08-08T14:45:49.232-04:002014-08-08T14:45:49.232-04:00Lately I've been thinking that when I have my ...Lately I've been thinking that when I have my "midlife crisis" I'll go back to school for some kind of healthcare degree so I can become an IBCLC. Which would certainly involve helping lots of moms with newborns.<br /><br />I haven't looked into it very seriously, though, partly due to the whole "young baby" thing and partly because I haven't paid off my *first* unprofitable-but-fun degree. :pThe Sojournerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04559244806125834569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-49520614991300411502014-08-07T20:54:40.914-04:002014-08-07T20:54:40.914-04:00I have the same feeling, Sojourner! I've had ...I have the same feeling, Sojourner! I've had a few older ladies dote on me when I've just had a baby, and now I get it .... when my own kids are grown, I will happily go and wait on every new mother I know. Everyone needs and deserves a little help when they've just had a baby!Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-75737069135047387212014-08-05T21:58:24.435-04:002014-08-05T21:58:24.435-04:00Man, if I could drive to Virginia, I would. My lit...Man, if I could drive to Virginia, I would. My little guy crawls like greased lightning; he could totally keep up with your boys. <br /><br />Alas, my husband would probably starve to death if I left him for more than a day. <br /><br />(I am still a little traumatized by having a newborn and it makes me want to Help ALL The Mamas. Wah.)The Sojournerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04559244806125834569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-6990258609759227652014-08-05T07:16:03.909-04:002014-08-05T07:16:03.909-04:00Thanks for all the encouraging comments, everyone....Thanks for all the encouraging comments, everyone. Sally, it's funny, but I always see being the first child as a great disadvantage. Sure, he's had a lot of attention, but there were so many things I couldn't teach him! Case in point: the way he couldn't keep "I" and "you" straight till two and a half. Michael never had an issue with that. He also has just seemed more adaptable and empathetic from the beginning, because he never was the center of the world in the same way.<br /><br />Sarah, thanks for coming and rambling here! Please don't apologize -- if I ramble at you, it's completely correct to ramble back at me!Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-40753742148739099402014-08-05T07:06:45.343-04:002014-08-05T07:06:45.343-04:00Recently John took Marko to work and left Michael ...Recently John took Marko to work and left Michael with me. It was the first time they'd ever been apart that long. Michael was distressed all day long, and so hard to keep entertained. Certainly made me think of just how much difference it makes that these two have each other. I sure hope they like their new siblings as much.Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-54906359035545912762014-08-04T13:57:47.669-04:002014-08-04T13:57:47.669-04:00Whoa, 37 weeks already! I'm another Catholic m...Whoa, 37 weeks already! I'm another Catholic mother who loves your blog and is only just today trying to "unlock my word hoard" (LOVE that blurb!) If you want my internet stranger two cents, I think you're going to rock with 3 kids! I've been wanting to comment on that fact ever since I saw your pregnancy announcement. I have 4 right now and will admit to struggling with "4 littles + a host of life situations". However, three kids was so different from two, and now four is so different from three. I found that with three I was already used to juggling more than one child (relatively speaking) and that the first two kids (both boys like yours, also 2 years apart) could sort of keep each other company while I nursed my third (rather than just be in near-constant agony like my first was while I nursed the second). Now throw in the fact that my third, my first girl, was very different from her brothers! She was way less attached to nursing (loved sucking her thumb and still does). She also became super attached to my husband at a very, very early age compared to the boys, so he was able to do a lot more of the soothing when needed. (This came in very handy as our fourth was conceived when our third was only 7 mos old-- surprise! Thumb-sucking DOES affect lactational amenorrhea!) Anyway, my apologies for jumping in with the rambling comment, but please know that I will be praying for you and that I truly enjoy your blog. Thanks for sharing your writing!sarah e.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13716363390221286512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-40757109087408403142014-08-04T09:39:24.817-04:002014-08-04T09:39:24.817-04:00Well, things always suck to one degree or another,...Well, things always suck to one degree or another, no matter what, whenever there's a major life transition. But for what it's worth, even though my third child was a fairly difficult baby, I remember that newborn period as relatively easy. Labor and birth were far easier, recovery was faster, and I was just a lot less anxious about a lot of things. All of that made a huge difference, even though he was pretty sleepless and intense. Not stressing about it all too much didn't make me less tired, but it did make me, I hope, less a monster than I might have been. To the extent that I remember that period at all (I was very quickly pregnant again and had a newborn right on his heels, so the amnesia is pretty severe), I remember it as a happy one. <br /><br />And really, though I still sometimes stress about not giving my younger children the same kind of childhood my older children had, overall I think that a tribe of siblings is to be preferred to that first-child model of having to be the whole tribe for your child. My first was an only child for almost four years, and in some ways there were benefits that were impossible to replicate for the others. Sometimes I find myself weighing that against the "we are an exclusive tribe of two" groove that my youngest two have been in their whole lives . . . the younger ones, especially when they were little, sometimes reminded me of a pair of parakeets we had once, who were totally bonded to each other and would have nothing to do with humans. <br /><br />Overall, though, despite the fact that life is often not total harmony, peace, and love, I think the best thing I've done as a parent is to step back some and let the tribe be a tribe. One day I'll be gone, and -- God willing -- they'll be the ones who are there for each other. Really, they already are. I love to see my oldest nurturing the younger ones, which nowadays mostly means taking them out for milkshakes when she's home. I love to see how much the three younger ones all love and look up to her. I love to see my boys pounding each other . . . oh, wait. Maybe I don't love that. But my husband swears it's a form of affection . . . <br /><br />Sally Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05014351173194941624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-43911762022759653562014-08-03T09:21:22.746-04:002014-08-03T09:21:22.746-04:00+JMJ+
I believe very strongly that the some of t...+JMJ+ <br /><br />I believe very strongly that the some of the greatest gifts that parents can give their children are full siblings who are close to them in age. What you can't do yourself for Marko and Michael is more than balanced by what they (and only they) can do for each other. And now you're giving them someone new for them to love, who can love them back! We call every Catholic family a "domestic church" because the principle of one body and many members also applies: when one member is weak, the others bear the load out of love. You already know this as a wife and mother, and I'm sure the boys are learning it themselves every day. Enbrethilielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03414765854670926854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464977109229359349.post-29616260919683215802014-08-02T23:31:10.965-04:002014-08-02T23:31:10.965-04:00You will be fine. Even if it doesn't feel fine...You will be fine. Even if it doesn't feel fine.<br /><br />Mother guilt. How I wish it didn't exist. I don't have it, but I'm not a mother. My mother has it, and when she feels guilty I tell her, truthfully, that she is a great mother with no reason to feel deficient. Your kids are little and they can't reassure you the way I reassure my mother, but they will when they grow up. And my mother, mother of four, had two first babies who were bad sleepers, and then the third and fourth babies were fine.Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03992516879346846271noreply@blogger.com